you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
