Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
