somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Randomize