Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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