Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize