tell your sister to shave her snatch
is wine microwaveable?
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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