went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
last night I used snow as a chaser
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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