clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
