is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize
