it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
