are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
