He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize