Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
i think i scared a bird with my dick
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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