We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
