too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
After tacos, we're chasing women.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
