how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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