if only i could text you this smell
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
