I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
