She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
