Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
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I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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