how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
