nut hugger
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
