if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
