is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
