Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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