$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
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drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
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Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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