My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
