Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Randomize
