I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize