Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
