You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
