I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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