Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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