She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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