What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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