My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I can't put those talents on a resume
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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