Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
