I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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