I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Betty ford says i'm here all night
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
