He disabled his match.com account in front of me
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize