Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
My vagina just recognized that song.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
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