You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
