So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
