Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still dying that you shit outside
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
We're too hungover to prance.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize