my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
