She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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