You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
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