She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Randomize
