Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
