fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
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I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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