Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
