Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
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