Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
