just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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