I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i think i have two assholes
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
