Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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