Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
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You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Alive.
So much puke
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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