People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
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