He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
