I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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