Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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