This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
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