hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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